The mole understands that Nick Jenkins is about to change his name by deed-poll to Colt Seavers after having this four page article in in Cameracraft, a quarterly advert free photography magazine.
The mole understands that Nick Jenkins is about to change his name by deed-poll to Colt Seavers after having this four page article in in Cameracraft, a quarterly advert free photography magazine.
The Mole awoke on Thursday after feeling a great disturbance in the force. Something has happened, he thought, something wonderful…
After doing a little burrowing dear Old Moley found that a magical score of 20 had been given at the October monthly competition. A score of seismic proportions in the fabric of the Gwynfa/time continuum.
Who could have achieved this score? And will there be more?
The Mole is watching with interest. Becoming strong in this one is the force…
It somehow seems appropriate that we once again publish this:
THE MOLE – ON THE TWELFTH DAY…… A QUESTION OF RESPONSIBILITY.
I don’t know if you agree or not but I think that the 364 gifts given in the ‘twelve days of Christmas’, no matter how well intended, would be quite a burden? For example, have you considered just how many birds you would have to look after? (Hasn’t ‘my true love’ ever heard of Bird Flu?) We get 12 Partridges in a Pear Tree (not many given their star billing), 42 ‘Geese-a-Laying’ (no doubt leading to blooming hundreds of baby Geese in no time at all), 33 French Hens, 36 Calling Birds, 22 Turtle Doves and 42 Swans-a-Swimming. Very clearly we need a decent sized pond, a small copse and a set of ear defenders before we can accept such gifts.
And what about the other stuff? We’ve got the makings of a pretty good band from our 22 Pipers piping and 12 Drummers Drumming. (It’s a shame we have 33 French Hens and not 33 French Horns). Throw in 36 Ladies Dancing and 30 Lords-a-Leaping and it’s almost a Royal Variety performance. But have you given any thought to who is going to feed all these people? Dancers consume lots of calories and musicians consume lots of alcohol. This doesn’t come cheap. I suppose we could start an aviary and the profits could go towards food, booze and pond cleaning. (Our band and dancers could even perform at the grand opening). But even after all that, we still have 40 Gold Rings and 40 Maids-a-Milking to deal with. Initially I thought that the Maids-a-Milking could work in the aviary too but I’m pretty sure that Partridges, Turtle Doves, French Hens, Calling Birds, Geese or Swans don’t need milking.
So, on reflection, I think we should sell the birds to Bernard Matthews, offload the Drummers and Pipers on the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards, pass the Ladies Dancing and Lords-a-Leaping over to ‘Strictly’ and lay-off the Maids-a-Milking as there just isn’t the demand during the ‘credit crunch’. That just leaves us with the 40 Gold Rings to melt down and sell for scrap. Luvlee Jublee!
The Mole has heard that a certain Gwynfa photographer, who may or may not have an FRPS, had an unusual visit last week after he’d ordered his usual supply of raw chemicals for mixing various toners and darkroom brews (one of the items being sulphuric acid). His online supplier mentioned when he placed the order the Royal Mail will no longer carry such items so they had changed to a private contractor. Shortly after placing the order our illustrious member, answering a knock on his door, found himself confronted by the local boys in blue who were very interested why he would want such dubious substances. Seemingly the courier had informed the Police about the unusual consignment and they had decided to investigate. The photographer in question, let’s call him ‘Dave‘, had to show the plod his prints and darkroom before they were satisfied that he was a bona fide photographer and not a terrorist cell. All eventually ended well although one of the officers quipped as he left that they have a thriving camera club in Belmarsh Prison. Enough reason to go over to the dark side we wonder?
It has come to the attention of the Mole that Rob Beynon (the photographer formerly known as Bob Beynon) recently signed an email to a fellow committee member using the name ‘Bo’. Are you confused too? Make up your bloomin’ mind RobBobBo.
The Mole heard tell that at the Christmas Do last night one of our members told a story about having woken up, wearing only a pyjama jacket, in a public area on board a cruise ship, having been sleep walking! Apparently a helpful member of the crew handed him a clipboard which he used to preserve his modesty whilst he rushed back to his cabin. Now who could it possibly be amking an exhibition of himself? Answers on a postcard to the Mole.
After the membership number changes announced above, the luckiest member is going to be Arthur Brownscombe who becomes member 007. The Mole has asked that he be allocated a special parking space for his Aston Martin.
Well you’ve probably been wondering where Dear Old Moley has been. Truth be told, he’s been doing a bit of modelling to supplement his income. (Burrows don’t decorate themselves you know!) In fact, some very racy (but artistic) photos of him will be soon be premiered by a wildlife tog of this parish. Dear old Moley wishes to stress out that he was photographed entirely in the wild in his natural habitat (ie. holding a doll whilst jumping over a gate late at night near Lindisfarne Castle).
Also, as recently as last Saturday the Mole spent some time under the Stanley Chell competition and was most amused to hear that the judge thought that the model in our entry entitled ‘Shhhhhh’ had a particularly long finger. Indeed, research suggests that this be true with her uncle, a member of this very club, confirming that they are freakishly long and ‘witch’ like. (Who are we to doubt a judge? Or an uncle?) The model in question declined the idea of corrective surgery but is reported to be seriously considering a suggestion made by a certain internal competition secretary, that being to simply stick the finger further up her nose so not so much is visible!
Incidentally, the Mole asked me to tell you that he though Inn Focus should’ve won the Stanley Chell! They are such nice chaps… and, if you average the number of points scored by the number of club members, we got 0.65 of a mark and they got 12…!
Your editor wishes it to be known that the opinions expressed by the Mole are not necessarily those of the management.