I am THE MOLE and I live in a hole... 
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are not those of Gwynfa C.C. or its officers, especially if you intend to sue. The webmaster undertakes to give the Mole any information provided by members of any camera club. The Mole for his part adopts the motto 'print and be damned'. Please note that any content of an explicit, malicious, damaging or offensive nature will be given extra special consideration. Politically correct disclaimer: Gwynfa Camera Club endeavours to ensure the accuracy of all information on this site but sadly 'The Mole' does not! All models over 18 years of age. No animals were harmed during the making of this website. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or events, past, present or future, is purely coincidental. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent and some others to protect the guilty. Batteries are not included. Slippery when wet. Parental guidance advised. Always read the label. If condition persists, consult your doctor. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. Contains scenes of extended peril and mild swearing. Thieves will be prosecuted. Please mind the gap between the website and the platform. Please remain seated until the web page has come to a complete stop. Do not use if under 5 foot 5 inches. May contain traces of nuts. If ingested, do not induce vomiting. If already vomiting, tough luck. Objects in rear-view mirror appear closer than they are. Driver does not carry cash. The chewing gum may lose it's flavour on the bedpost overnight. Does not affect your statutory rights. Other restrictions may apply in your territory but they are your problem. ...and remember, it's only a bit of fun!
The 'Word Under The Street' -All the latest rumours and gossip. Send your contibutions HERE.
THE MOLE - BEWARE, THE 'OTHERS' ARE HERE...
The Mole has discovered that this page is regularly visited by members of (takes deep breath) other camera clubs (or 'photographic societies' if they are from posh places!) Indeed, it is reported that on several recent occasions Gwynfa members have been asked the question 'who is The Mole?' This is unanswerable of course. The Mole is all things to all members and his sources willll never betray him (unless you offer them free beer).
THE MOLE - UPDATE ON THE MOST VIEWED PHOTOGRAPS ON THIS SITE.
The Mole has noticed that the aforementioned mugshot of Gary Were has now romped ahead in the 'most viewed' stakes. He is now up to 248 views while Philippa's 'Obelisk, Pen y Fan' languishes in second place on 209 views. (For original article, scroll down....) Climbing the charts (with a bullet) into fourth place is that one with the see through monks and the ball bearings! (It gets everywhere!!)
THE MOLE - ON SINGALONGA GWYNFA VOLUME 1
The Mole made a rare visit to the pub last Thursday evening. It started out like any other post Gwynfa evening at the pub. However it ended with many of the regulars backing out of the door and some very worried locals asking Sian from behind the bar if she had 'spiked' the camera club! The proverbial blue touch paper was lit by a conversation about certain foundation garments which in turn led to an old joke about the rawhide bra (for those not familiar with this old joke, it "heads 'em up and moves 'em out"). At this point, someone who shall remain nameless (but was in fact Jeff) started singing "Rolling rolling rolling .....". And everyone joined in for a full rendition of 'Rawhide'.
This moment sparked what can only be described as 'Singalonga-Gwynfa Volume 1' with song after song being trotted out. At this point dear old Moley feels like he should be in one of those Ronco adverts on TV which says.... "hear such classics as"... 'Dedicated To The One I Love', 'Speedy Gonzales', 'Summer Nights' (complete with 'wella wella wella OOO'), 'Hey Jude', 'Zippardy Doo Dah' (Heidis' speciality), 'Delilah', 'Don't Dilly Dally' and many, many more.... (but not by the original artists).
When the repertoire became a little exhausted it degenerated into that old army song which has the chorus 'Did you ever see such a funny thing before'. Dennis came to the fore at this point and the Mole remembers something about Uncle Mike, a Motorbike and riding around the Gower... but it all became a bit of a blur about this time...
To the casual observer it seems that knowing the lyrics was optional. For example 'Hey Jude' contained a lot of confusion about whether we were 'making it bad' or indeed 'sad' or if we were letting her 'under our skin' or 'into our heart'. The song was cut short (mercifully) by the ensemble going into "Better better better better better better, ohhhhh" straight after the first verse. It of course ended with a rousing naaaaa na na nanan naaaaaaaa crescendo (as everyone knew the words to that bit), the section being enlivened by a particularly energetic 'Judeee judeeee judeee judeeee awwwww' by Jeff and Sheila.
Talking of Jeff, he also on several occasions found the need to leap to his feet and do a frankly hysterical little 'cockney thumbs in braces' jig... particularly to 'My old man said follow the van'. (What is a cock linnet anyway?) Also particularly enjoyable was his rendition of the intro to Speedy Gonzales... Laaaaaaaaa, lala lala lala laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....
All in all the Mole found it very entertaining but sadly no one had a video camera. We still don't know what they put in the drinks!
If you remember a particular classic not mentioned here, please tell the Mole. His memory isn't what it once was.
THE MOLE - THE MOST VIEWED PHOTOGRAPS ON THIS SITE.
The Mole has been looking to see which are the most viewed photographs on this site. The results are odd. In fifth place with 160 views is Philipa Wood with 'All Alone Am I'. Fourth with 168 views is 'Shropshire Blue & Stilton' by Mostyn Davies. Third with 176 views is 'Early Morning Mist on the Teifi' by Maggie Parry-Jones. Second with 208 views is Philippa Wood (again) with 'Obelisk, Pen y Fan'. All quite normal so far... but here is where it gets odd. The most viewed photograph on the website is Gary Were's Mugshot with 209 views (at the time of typing). Obviously the illustrious Mr. Were has a more than a few admirers! Such magnetism begs the question, how much would his mugshot score in a monthly? (NB. Everyone can check to see the most viewed photographs by clicking on (wait for it) "Most Viewed" at the top of the home page).
THE MOLE - FAVOURITE PHOTOS ON MEMBERS' NIGHT
The Mole thoroughly enjoyed all the fantastic photographs last night but was especially partial to Rob Owens' 'Groyne', Rob Dummer's 'Tackle' and Alan Shepherd's 'Old Buoy'. (Yes Heidi, you were right. I did spell 'buoy' incorrectly).
THE MOLE - REFUTES ALLEGATIONS
The Mole has vehemently refuted allegations that he is a trained stunt Mole and not a creature of the wild. Old Moley maintains that he he is completely wild and when asked to comment he replied in best 'Not the 9 O'clock news fashion', 'Wild! I was livid!' (Boom Tsshh). Moley also denies allegations that his given name is Gerald.
THE MOLE - WILDLIFE PHOTOGRAPHY AND WOLVES
The Mole wasn't really surprised to discover that the winner of the 2009 Wildlife Photographer of the Year, José Luis Rodriguez, was disqualified amidst suspicions of using a 'Stunt Wolf'. Dear Old Moley knows this practice takes place as he himself has often posed for wildlife photographers pretending to be taking genuine Natural History shots. Indeed, he has worked with numerous photographers (one of whom visited Gwynfa and openly admitted cheating). This practice will of course henceforward be known as 'Doing a José'. (Incidentally, the Mole wishes to make it clear that those old shots in "Playmole" were not him. It was someone who looked remarkably similar, that's all, honest!)
THE MOLE - YOU THINK YOU HAVE PROBLEMS
The Mole has had it tough just lately. You think clearing a bit of snow of your drive is tough, try tunnelling through ground as hard as concrete. He has had to resort to explosives and eventually got to Caerlan Hall about 8pm last week only to find no one was there.
THE MOLE - WEBMASTER LOCK OUT
The Mole has discovered that our webmasterblokey managed to ban himself from the site the other day. Apparently a temporaory brain fade led to him entering his password incorrectly three times...... and this henious crime results in total lock out! Even when our hapless hero tried his other computer and his i-touch, they all said the same thing: 'you have been banned from using this website'. Nothing he tried would let him into the site. Fortunately the ban was automatically lifted after several hours. So, beware of forgetting your password. You have been warned.
THE MOLE - ON THE MONOCHROME PRINT CHALLENGE
The Mole has discovered that, despite the title 'The Monochrome Print Challenge', one of our members turned up at club on Thurday with a digital entry! Old Moley does not plan to reveal the name of the (rather illustrious) member in question... unless the agreed payments are not forthcoming. Well, a Mole has to make a living!
THE MOLE - IS ON THE GWYNFA FORUM
The Mole has registered on the Gwynfa forum and hereby wishes it to be known that this will allow a more 'interactive' Mole experience. He is, in short, prepared to act as Gwynfa's Agony Mole and will answer all questions and help you overcome problems you may have (whether photo related or not). So, no more third party access to our furry friend! Henceforward, (if you use the forum) you will have direct contact (without having to go through webmasterblokey).
THE MOLE - EYESIGHT AND WEBSITES
Like many of us, the Mole is getting old and his eyesight is failing. (Being a mole, It wasn't much good to start with). So when he received the following complaint from a reader (who shall remain nameless) he could empathise and so decided to share some information that may help others among you who are 'visually challenged'. The original complaint read: "Dear Moley, I really enjoy your webpage but the text is so small that I have difficulty reading it." Well, dear old Moley knows a simple way of overcoming this problem. It will work on most (all?) websites and here are the instructions: Can you see the "Ctrl" (or 'Control' ) key on your keyboard? (It is usually in the bottom left hand corner). Good, memorise where it is. Now, can you see the key with + on it? It is usually on the numbers row to the right of the 0 (zero) key (and just below the F11 key) . Now (get ready for the exiting bit) HOLD DOWN THE CTRL KEY... and with your other hand press the + key once, twice (or as many times as your eyesight demands). The website should magnify on your screen. To go backwards and make the website smaller again just press CTRL and the - (minus) key which is next the the + key. Try this out on Moley's disclaimer above as it is the smallest text size we can use on this website. Voila! Who needs these flippin' glasses anyway? Apres mole, le deluge!
THE MOLE - PRIMARY COLOUR - A REPLY
The Mole has received a reply to his musings on Primary Colour: Dear Moley, I am moved to respond to the article on the prestigious Gwynfa underground Mole network. I found the article very informative but the range of colours commented upon did not paint the full picture. I would like first to draw your attention to the atmogen synthesiser which generates sound on the basis of images fed in to it. The brightness of the image determines the volume and uses the colours Red (for the right stereo channel), Green (for the left stereo channel) and Yellow (for the stereo centre). Another is Audio Paint which is very similar. Slight tweaking of the synchronous modulation coefficients in atmogen enabled the output to be passed to a voice synthesiser (sounds a bit like KT). I then fed a number of images - into atmogen, from a well known camera club, seascapes, snow scenes and cut oranges scored 20 whilst moths and lions scored 10. Chandan and Hyeong are of the opinion that additive modelling techniques such as Atmogen rely heavily on the weak learner and the form of loss factor used. I would support this but replace loss factor with judge factor. They go on to say that weak learners can become optimal learners if different models are used. So what is missing from the previous article are colourful primary models that the weak learner can get to grips with. Learners could start with either Rose, Ginger or Bluebell (RGB for short), but are not restricted to these as other primary models are available such as Cerise, Magnolia, Yuck and Katy (i.e CMYK for short). However both Yuck and Katy have had a bad press of late and should be avoided. Hope this article doesn't paint to much of a black and white picture. Yours LAB (Leanard Arginon Black), BA Calcutta (failed). The Mole thanks LAB for his or her efforts in sniffing out this extra information. You must be a lot like a bloodhound!
THE MOLE - WHICH COLOURS ARE PRIMARY?
With the February Monthly Competition subject being Primary Colour the Mole thought it prudent to double check exactly which colours are regarded as "primary".
The answer wasn't as simple as you may think. His first port of call, Moley-Pedia, was where he first began to suspect that there could be problems. Here is what they say:
"Primary colors are sets of colors that can be combined to make a useful range of colors. For human applications, three are often used; for additive combination of colors, as in overlapping projected lights or in CRT displays, the primary colors normally used are red, green, and blue. For subtractive combination of colors, as in mixing of pigments or dyes, such as in printing, the primaries normally used are cyan, magenta, and yellow. Any choice of primary colors is essentially arbitrary; for example, an early color photographic process, autochrome, typically used orange, green, and violet primaries". (Hmmm, so that's cleared that up then!)
Moley-Pedia goes on to say: "Primary colors are not a fundamental property of light but are often related to the physiological response of the eye to light. Fundamentally, light is a continuous spectrum of the wavelengths that can be detected by the human eye, an infinite-dimensional stimulus space. However, the human eye normally contains only three types of color receptors, called cone cells. Each color receptor responds to different ranges of the color spectrum. Humans and other species with three such types of color receptors are known as trichromats. These species respond to the light stimulus via a three-dimensional sensation, which generally can be modeled as a mixture of three primary colors".
Species with different numbers of receptor cell types would have color vision requiring a different number of primaries. For example, for species known as tetrachromats, with four different color receptors, one would use four primary colors. Since humans can only see to 400 nanometers (violet), but tetrachromats can see into the ultraviolet to about 300 nanometers, this fourth primary color might be located in the shorter-wavelength range.
Another less technical website says: Primary colours used in painting are a pinkish red called magenta, a blue called cyan and yellow. With these 3 colours and white it is possible to mix most other colours needed when painting a picture. White is not a colour and is often used to tint colours, for example, mixing it with red to make a pale pink.
However, the Mole prefers the colours suggested by Colorado University, an altogether more funky selection comprising extreme red, psychedelic aquamarine and extreme purple. The website says: "Suppose that you could, by some magic, tickle each of the three types of cone in your eye individually, or in any proportion, at will. Clearly you could produce any possible colour - along with some impossible colours - by tickling your cones in the appropriate combination. As discussed immediately below, the colours that correspond to tickling each cone separately are the cone primaries, or fundamental primaries". For the full text of this website (and probably some mind enhancing substances) visit HERE.
So, is that clear? You simply have to decide on a few basic things. Is your entry going to be additive or subtractive? Are you going to take advantage of the shorter wavelength range? Will you be tickling your cones to achieve a fundamental primary? Will you take account of infinite-dimensional stimulus space? Will the judge will be a trichomat or a tetrachromat? (Isn't it usually about now that Spock explains everything to Kirk, leaving Kirk to kiss the female alien and shoot the male one?)
Dear Old Moley hopes this helps... but suspects it won't!
THE MOLE ON HEALTH, SAFETY AND KUNG FU - PART TWO
Dear Old Moley has received a letter in response to his rantings on what is fast becoming known as 'Kung-Fu-Gate'. The letter reads thus: Dear Moley, regarding your comments on H,S and Kung-Fu, may I offer my support to your ranting. I hope the original damage was an accident and not a deliberate act, and that the "Karate Kid" wasn't hurt. This act by the society in question has resulted in a possible "fine" of £120 imposed on the victim not the perpetrator. It leads me to wonder if the society in question has a smaller membership than Gwynfa and hence, relatively speaking, is a "minority group" which, in this wonderful country of ours, affords it more rights than the majority. So much so that I'm concerned about making this statement as it contravenes some discriminatory body somewhere and I will be getting a knock on the door from the "Ethics Squad" late one rainy evening. In my view, the society in question should not only pay for the damage, they should pay for the perspex in all the photographs. Should the local authority consider the "lagging" of the tea-urn in case one of these kids should burn their feet on it? What about the photos of the local councillors? Do they contravene H&S rules? Mind you, if Miyagi can kick those at that height, I won't hear a word against him ... or her????? Signed: Anonymous - Somewhere near the back row- by some big blokes (just in case).
THE MOLE - ARPS - WHAT DOES IT ACTUALLY MEAN
The Mole isn't that well versed in matters of photographic disctinction, the majority of his work being taken in low light (his favourite photographer is Martyn Farr). The successof our club Chairman in achieving his ARPS prompted our furry friend to do some extensive research into the ARPS and what it actually means. In other words... he 'Googled' it! A veritable plethora of results spouted from the doughty search engine including: Amherst Regional Public Schools, Advanced Regional Prediction System, Automatic Packet Reporting System (Oooer Mrs), Automatic Position Reporting System, Australasian Radiation Protection Society, Adjustable-Rate Preferred Stock and, eventually, Associateship of the Royal Photographic Society. So either our illustrious Chairman has dealings with an antipodean anti-nuclear society or he's going back to college in Amherst. Or just maybe he has a packet or position that needs reporting? Whatever the answer, Old Moley has concluded that this lets us photographers know exactly where we stand in the grand scheme of things!
THE MOLE ON HEALTH, SAFETY AND KUNG FU - PART ONE
As a result of the glass in one of our photo frames at Caerlan Hall being broken we find that we either have to replace all the non reflective glass with perspex or face not being able to continue hanging our photos, this ruling has apparently been made by the Community Council on the grounds of 'Health & Safety'. If we decide to continue hanging the photos, this replacement excercise will cost us around £7 per frame or around £120 in total. Is the Mole alone in wondering if this is just a tad "barse ackwards"! Dear Old Moley looks at it this way: Some wannabe 'Karate Kid' kung-fu-kicks one of our glass frames to smithereens and WE are accused of contravening health and safety rules. Has the world gone mad? Surely the only health and safety issue here concerns the teaching of kids to kick the living daylights out of each other in a confined space. What's more, the society in question, as far as Moley knows, has not yet offered to pay for the breakage! Where will it all end? Will they be suing us next?
THE MOLE HAS BEEN PONDERING CURRY NIGHT
The Mole has been pondering the likely effects of placing a large number of people, many of whom have attended a curry evening less than 24 hours earlier, into a confined space for over two hours. Consequently he is very relieved that curry night is a Friday and not a Wednesday!
THE MOLE HAS RECEIVED AN ANONYMOUS PHOTOGRAPH
The Mole has received a mysterious photograph from someone named only as "Vertically Challenged of LLantrisant". The caption to the photograph says "have you ever noticed how people of superior stature have a habit of getting in the way when you are trying to be creative?" Old Moley suspects this taller member is actually a stalker. You can see the photograph in the Gwynfa History album HERE.
THE MOLE HAS A RIVAL
It has been brought to the attention of our furry friend the Mole that he has a rival. His name is 'Snoop' and he regularly appears on the website of another well known local camera club. Well that's not strictly true; they are actually a 'Photographic Club', which is of course the posh version of 'camera club'. This Mr. Snoop files unofficial reports on the activiy of said 'Photographic Club' and is even sometimes referred to as 'Old Snoop' for goodness sake. Dear Old Moley is currently in consultation with his legal representatives Dewey, Cheatham & Howe about matters relating to intellectual property and breach of copyright (and the small matter of that bowling green problem from last November). As it may prejudice any future legal proceedings we are not yet at liberty to name the photographic club in question. We'll just have to draw a veil over that for now.
THE MOLE - ON THE TWELFTH DAY... A MATHEMATICAL ERROR?
A close reptillian friend of the Mole (namely The Adder) has pointed out what seems to be a flaw in the formula used to calculate the total number of gifts given during those 12 extravagant days of Christmas. The formula, in case you have forgotten (or lost the will to live), is [n(n+1)(2n+4)]/12. "n" being the number of days of Christmas equals 12). So if we replace "n" with "12" we get [12 (12+1) (2x12+4)]/12. Taking the middle section first we are multiplying the sum of 12+1 by the sum of 2x12+4. This is 13x28 which equals 364. Now 364 is the correct answer.... but we haven't yet completed the formula! The full formula actually says 12 x (13x28) divided by 12. So why do we need to both multiply by 12 and divide by 12? They cancel one another out. Any offers as to why we have this seemingly pointless duplication? Does anyone care?
THE MOLE - AS CLEAR AS MUD
The Mole has been considering spending a few hard earned pounds on a vertical battery grip for his CanNik D460gti SLR and the temptation to get one of those Chinese copies for a third the price is tempting. However, the instructions that appear on the Chinese website have led to some concerns. Here they are so you can see for yourself: They are as clear as mud!
1、Make sure that the power on/ off buttom is set for off, then open the battery jar cover and pull it carefully at the angle of 35℃, and take the battery out. In order to avoid the slidding off of the battery, you can turn the battery jar cover upwardly.
2、The battery jar cover can be put in the storage location at the holder in case of loss.
3、Put the electriode bar of battery holder into the electriode chamber, then make the connecting screw aim at the tripod screw hole and tighten the handwheel as the indicated direction. If there is fictitious potential between the camera and the holder, the holder should be reinstalled.
4、The installation is finished by now. open the power swith and make sure that there is something displayed on the LCD, then the camera can be used.
5、Uninstall the holder with reserve procedure.
6、The holder can only be use with the compatible device.
7、In orde to avoid the short circuit caused by the contact of metal and power terminal, you should get the interface lid on when holder is not used.
8、The holder doesn’t have power switch, so you should turn on or turn off it with the power on /off buttom of camera.
9、Don’t put battery packs inro fire or water, and don’t make the output terminal of the bettery packs short-circuited directly.
10、Don't take apart or assemble the battery packs by yourself.
11、Please charge with the appointed charger.
12、Please put the battery pack at a dry and shady place.
Old Moley has decided to stick to the CanNik offcial version as he is scared there might be fictitious potential between the camera and the holder resulting in slidding of the battery! Also, what happens if you do not pull it carefully at the angle of 35℃? Scary stuff. Still, I suppose their English is better than the Mole's Mandarin Chinese.
THE MOLE - ON THE TWELFTH DAY...... A QUESTION OF RESPONSIBILITY.
I don’t know if you agree or not but I think that the 364 gifts given in the ‘twelve days of Christmas’, no matter how well intended, would be quite a burden? For example, have you considered just how many birds you would have to look after? (Hasn’t ‘my true love’ ever heard of Bird Flu?) We get 12 Partridges in a Pear Tree (not many given their star billing), 42 ‘Geese-a-Laying’ (no doubt leading to blooming hundreds of baby Geese in no time at all), 33 French Hens, 36 Calling Birds, 22 Turtle Doves and 42 Swans-a-Swimming. Very clearly we need a decent sized pond, a small copse and a set of ear defenders before we can accept such gifts. And what about the other stuff? We've got the makings of a pretty good band from our 22 Pipers piping and 12 Drummers Drumming. (It’s a shame we have 33 French Hens and not 33 French Horns). Throw in 36 Ladies Dancing and 30 Lords-a-Leaping and it’s almost a Royal Variety performance. But have you given any thought to who is going to feed all these people? Dancers consume lots of calories and musicians consume lots of alcohol. This doesn't come cheap. I suppose we could start an aviary and the profits could go towards food, booze and pond cleaning. (Our band and dancers could even perform at the grand opening). But even after all that, we still have 40 Gold Rings and 40 Maids-a-Milking to deal with. Initially I thought that the Maids-a-Milking could work in the aviary too but I’m pretty sure that Partridges, Turtle Doves, French Hens, Calling Birds, Geese or Swans don’t need milking. So, on reflection, I think we should sell the birds to Bernard Matthews, offload the Drummers and Pipers on the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards, pass the Ladies Dancing and Lords-a-Leaping over to ‘Strictly’ and lay-off the Maids-a-Milking as there just isn’t the demand during the ‘credit crunch’. That just leaves us with the 40 Gold Rings to melt down and sell for scrap. Luvlee Jublee!
THE MOLE - ON THE TWELFTH DAY......
Perplexed by a question in the recent 'Charlie's Angels' quiz, a certain 'Chairperson' has been pondering how to work out the total number of gifts received in the song "the Twelve days of Christmas". After a day of complex calculation (and 5 minutes on 'google' after he gave up trying to do it himself) he can exclusively reveal that the formula (apparently) is [n(n+1)(2n+4)]/12. Presumably "n" represents the number Partridges in a Pear Tree? Our illustrious chairperson is now working on a project involving the ionisation of the hydrogen atom under a varying quantum field. I myself am having a brandy and watching 'Emmerdale'. Some people need to get out more. (Oh, by the way, the answer is 364).
THE MOLE - THE FORCE IS STRONG IN THEM...
Speculation continues that the last remaining bastions of film photography at Gwynfa (I said 'bastions') will also succumb to the 'dark side'. The question remians, is 'the force' strong enough to prevent the inevitable? Only two or three 'RedEye' knights still remain faithful. So use the force Ieuan....
THE MOLE - THE EMPIRE DOESN'T STRIKE BACK
The Mole has discovered that yet another of our analogue photographers, steeped in the tradition of chemicals and film, has 'turned to the dark side'. The photographer in question wishes, for the sake of his or her family, to remain anonymous (and also wishes to remind members that that flippin' Daisy was NOT plastic, OK).
THE MOLE - PHOTOSHOP WARS
The Mole has been advised by a friend known only as 'Yoda' that one of our more traditional members has abandoned his darkroom and hand tinting methods and purchased a digital camera back in May, on the 4th to be precise. Our mysterious friend wishes to warn the member in question that digital cameras lead to pixels; pixels lead to computers; computers lead to Photoshop; Photoshop leads to anger; anger leads to hate and.... hate leads to the dark side! May the 4th be with you.
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